In our Parasha Vayishlach, we read about our third forefather Yaakov (Jacob) who prepares himself to meet his twin brother, Esau, when he remembers his older brother for the blessings he received in his place. Finally, the meeting, which is accompanied by great apprehension, ends in peace.

Esau was separated from Jacob, when Esau turned to the Edom area on the eastern side of the Jordan River, while Jacob turned west to the land of Canaan. There, in Nablus, after he purchases a plot of land, he is faced with the kidnapping and rape of his daughter Dina by the son of the local ruler, an event that ends with Dina’s brave rescue, but at the cost of the killing of the people of Nablus by Shimon and Levi, Jacob’s sons – an ambivalent event that Jacob finds difficult put up with.

And if that’s not enough, on his way from Nablus to Hebron, the city where his parents live, disaster befalls Jacob: his beloved wife Rachel is kneeling down to give birth to her second child, and during the birth she dies. The baby was saved, but the beloved mother and wife will no longer accompany Jacob. He buries her on the mother of the road, near the city of Bethlehem, a place that to this day is a focus of prayers for individuals and the nation – “Kever Rachel – Rachel’s Tomb”.

In her last moments, Rachel had time to give a name to the tender baby, who is going to be orphaned by his mother in a few moments. She calls him “Ben Oni”. The meaning of this name expresses Rachel’s terrible sorrow. “Ben Oni” means “son of my sorrow”. Rachel, who has been waiting for a child for so many years, and this is her second son, looks with the rest of her strength at the little infant who is probably screaming like infants do in the delivery room, and she sees in him the reflection of the terrible sorrow of a mother who will not get to raise her son.

But Jacob does not leave the tender baby with the name “Ben Oni”. He changes the name a little and calls him “Benyamin -Benjamin” – “Ben Yamin”. Why does Jacob change the name Rachel gave him, and what is the meaning of the new name he gives his son?

One of the greatest commentators of the Bible in the Middle Ages, the Ramban (Rabbi Moshe ben Nachman, Spain-Israel, 13th century), offered an explanation for the name change. Jacob did not change the child’s name but gave a new meaning to the name Rachel had given him. “Ben Oni” can be interpreted as “son of my misfortune” but can also be interpreted as “son of my strength”, power and strength. To emphasize the new meaning of the name “Ben Oni” Jacob called him “Ben Yemin”. The right is the strong side that symbolizes heroism and success. The original name remained “Ben Oni” as Rachel stated, but from the meaning of sorrow and mourning it became the meaning of heroism and success.

With these enlightening words, Jacob outlined for us the way to grow out of difficult situations. Not to repress sorrow and grief but to turn them into an engine of heroism and success. Precisely from the depth of the loss, to cultivate the desire to fill the void, complete the missing, act for good and fight evil. Grief can be debilitating and lead to depression, but we are also able to grow from it and draw strength to turn the painful story into a story of success and heroism.

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Refael Cohen