In this week’s Parasha, Re’eh, we meet with a very special commandment: “If there will be among you a needy person, from one of your brothers in one of your cities, in your land the Lord, your God, is giving you, you shall not harden your heart, and you shall not close your hand from your needy brother. Rather, you shall open your hand to him, and you shall give him sufficient for his needs, which he is lacking ” The question is how much should be given in order for the giving to satisfy the lack of the needy person. Rashi explains: On the one hand, you are not commanded to enrich the needy person, and on the other hand, if possible, you should provide the poor with even a horse to ride on and a slave to run before him.” Hence scarcity is a relative matter.
It is told about a great rabbi who came to a wise rich man to receive donation from him. The rich man received him with a warm welcome and talked with him about the Torah. The rabbi started talking about the mitzvot of charity and the rich man also added wonderful ideas on this matter. The rabbi tells him more torah ideas and the rich man did not lag behind him either. Seeing that there is no end to the matter, the rabbi said to him: I will tell you a story. In one of the distant countries, the inhabitants did not know what an onion was and had never seen it before. One day a wanderer came there and brought with him an onion. The local people were very happy about this and gave the wanderer money for the onion. They sowed it and it started to grow onions. When another wanderer heard this, he took garlic with him and wandered to this country where there was a lack also of garlic. The people of the place didn’t know what they could give him in return, they asked themselves: with what precious thing can we reward him for the garlic? They decided to pay him with the most valuable thing they have – an onion. You too – concluded the rabbi – you tell me Torah innovations against my Torah innovations. After all the Torah says: “and you shall give him sufficient for his needs, which he is lacking,” and I lack money…
The lesson is clear: if the person needs the charity of money, don’t give him an onion, or if the person lacks money, words will not help him.
On the other hand, there are situations in a person’s life that he doesn’t need money but actually needs words. When a person is in pain, suffering from any illness, support him and strengthen his spirit with words of encouragement. Don’t start telling him about your troubles and your pain. Words of support, words of friendship are what a person lacks. The same is true in any other situation where a person needs help, and it is not necessarily financial. Stand behind him and support him, with kind words, because the right words at the right time are priceless. A lonely person who needs love, hug him so that he feels that he is not alone, talk to him, listen to words that come from the heart. Give him what he lacks. The same is true on occasions of joy. Share in your brother’s happiness with words and deeds, because even in times of joy a person needs partners. And in contrast, when a person loses someone dear to him, don’t be satisfied with the clichés of sharing in the grief. Open your heart to him and listen to him with words of sincere condolences to help him deal with the loss.
Warm and sincere words, words that express true feelings for others, friendship, sympathy and care, words like these, are of great value. When we see a person lacking, we give him what he lacks. Sometimes its money and sometimes it is words. Be wise and sensitive to detect the real need! Humans lack different things at different times.
We are approaching the month of Elul, (this week is Rosh Chodesh), the month of repentance and forgiveness. When a person is hurt by what we did or didn’t do, by what we said or didn’t say, when we should have said words of true, honest and pure apology, this is the victim’s lack, and we must give him enough of his lack. And when we are the ones who hurt, the wrongdoers, words of forgiveness may ease the feeling of guilt, and remove the shame that we are not always ready to admit. The month of Elul is a proper time to give to others according to their lack and also to ourselves according to our own lack.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Refael Cohen