In our parasha Vayeshev, we learn about the relationship between Joseph and his brothers. The Torah says: “And his brothers saw that their father loved him (Joseph) more than all his brothers, and they hated him and could not speak peaceably to him.”
The sons of Jacob saw that their father loved Joseph more than all his brothers, so they hated Joseph.
Love appears many times in the stories of Genesis – “Take your son, your only son, whom you love, Isaac,” God says to Abraham. Isaac loves Rebekah, he loves Esau, Rebekah loves Jacob, Jacob loves Rachel, Shechem the son of Hamor loves Dinah, and Israel (Jacob) loves Joseph of all his children.
We encounter hatred only once: “And the God saw that Leah was hated, and he opened her womb, and Rachel was barren.” Leah refers to the same hatred: “And she conceived again, and had a son, and said, Because the God had heard that I am hated, he gave me this also: and she called his name Shimeon.”
Our sages explain that the brothers who hated Joseph were the sons of Leah, not the sons of the handmaids. They say that when the Torah mentions Joseph’s “brothers,” it refers to the sons of Leah and Rachel – the handmaids are not considered equal to them. Therefore, who are the ones who hate Joseph? According to this interpretation, the sons of Leah.
Why do Leah’s sons hate Joseph? Perhaps it has to do with the hatred that Leah felt towards herself.
Imagine the brothers Shimon being told the story of his birth, including the meaning of his name. “You know that father hates mother, and you were born because she said that God had mercy on her because of this.” How should this child feel?
What happens to a person who feels that he or she is hated? How can he live with such feelings? What does it do to him?
In other places in the Torah, we receive instructions regarding hatred. In the parsha “Kedoshim” we are commanded: “You shall not hate your brother in your heart, nor bear any sin against him.” We are forbidden to hate. It is our duty to enlighten our brother on points for improvement, and any rebuke must come from love and a sense of responsibility, not from hatred.
Hatred stems from feelings of fear and anger. Anger can stem from the perception of unjust harm to a person or someone close to him.
As we can see around us – in families, among us as a nations, hatred can put us into a cruel and dangerous cycle. Hatred begets hatred. Hatred tears the bonds between us, influences us to perform heinous and impulsive actions. Hatred can cause suffering and pain in violent ways.
Perhaps Jacob’s story is meant to warn us: it is very easy to point to Joseph’s brothers as completely wicked and shift all the blame to them for their treatment of him and his sale. There is no doubt that they bear a heavy responsibility for the injustice done to Joseph and the pain caused to the entire family as a result. But let us remember that the problem did not begin with them. They are already carrying the scars of their father and mother’s relationship.
Jacob did not want to marry Leah. But when he did marry her, she became part of the story. And according to the story, she did contribute greatly to the building of the people of Israel. Why couldn’t Jacob put away his hatred? Let go of his anger, move on from the injustice done to him? His hatred was passed on to Leah, who passed on to her sons. As they say, the rest is history.
We, as the children of Jacob – as the children of Israel – must also take stock. When we cry out about uncomfortable situations or injustices done to us by others, we must also take responsibility for our part or at least “walk in their shoes.”
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Refael Cohen