In our Parasha Vayetze Jacob ran away from his home to his uncle`s house.
A young immigrant looking to be accepted in his uncle house, Jacob found himself working seven years for Laban only to be able to marry to his daughter Rachel, was cheated by Laban who gave Lea instead of Rachel and after that being forced to work another seven years in order to be able to marry his beloved Rachel.
When the 14 years are up, Laban asks his son-in-law Jacob to continue working for him, this time for payment, but he repeatedly changes the terms of employment in a way that will reduce Jacob’s earnings and increase his own. After another six years, Jacob wants to leave Laban and return to the land of Canaan. To do so, he is forced to flee with his wives and children.
For twenty years he has shepherded Laban’s sheep with devotion, taking full responsibility: if a wild animal has taken a sheep, or if a sheep has been stolen – Jacob did not even report it, he paid from his own pocket. He guarded the sheep with devotion, in the heat of the day and the cold of the night.
When Jacob fled, Laban chased after him. When he caught up with him, Jacob confronted him about his unjust conduct over the years. Laban, for his part, responded with the most delusional words we could imagine:
And Laban answered and said to Jacob: “The daughters are my daughters, and the sons are my sons, and the flocks are my flocks, and everything you see is mine!”
This statement can explain Laban’s problematic attitude. From his point of view, his children are tools for his needs, his grandchildren are his private property, and Jacob’s wealth, acquired through toil and sweat, also belongs to him. When Laban’s attitude toward property and people is so distorted, is it any wonder that he behaves this way toward his surroundings, without even a shadow of awareness?
We must be careful not to treat the people who work for us as our personal property, or even our family members as instruments for the achievement of our needs. Because this type of perception can lead us to appropriate the property of others, not to treat those around us with integrity and fairness, and not even to see any flaw in it.
To escape any trace of this worldview, we must adopt the path of Jacob, who sees everything in his life as a divine grace. When we look at the world from this perspective, it will be easier for us to distinguish between our own property and the property of others, and we will be able to treat our families properly, and to give thanks for the divine gift that has fallen to our lot to live alongside them.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Refael Cohen