Every year, as we read Parashat Devarim, we stand on the eve of Tisha B’Av, the saddest day in the Jewish calendar. This is no coincidence. Our sages arranged that the opening words of book of Devarim would always be read immediately before Tisha B’Av because both teach us the same enduring lesson: when we honestly confront our mistakes, we create the possibility of redemption

Parashat Devarim opens with Moses addressing the Jewish people during the final weeks of his life. After leading the nation for forty years through the wilderness, Moshe knows that he will not enter Eretz Yisrael. This is his last opportunity to speak to the people he loves so deeply.

His words are words of a loving rebuke. Yet the Torah reveals something remarkable about the way Moshe gives rebuke.

Instead of listing every sin openly, Moshe mentions only the names of places: “In the wilderness, in the Aravah, opposite the Sea of Reeds, between Paran and Tophel, Lavan, Chatzerot, and Di Zahav.” Rashi, the greater Torah commentator, explains that these places are hints to the various failures of people of Yisrael throughout their journey. Moshe deliberately avoids embarrassing the people by mentioning their sins directly.

From this we learn an extraordinary lesson. Rebuke is not meant to humiliate. Its purpose is to help another person grow while preserving their dignity. The greatest leader in Jewish history teaches that even when correction is necessary, it must be delivered with love, compassion, and respect.

Moshe waits until the people are about to enter the Land before reminding them of their past. He chooses the right time, the right place, and the right words. He speaks only because it will benefit the people—not because he is angry or seeking to criticize.

This is one of the greatest lessons in communication. Before speaking, we should ask ourselves:

Are my words true?  Are they necessary?  Will they help the other person grow?

Can I say them with kindness and respect?

The name of the parashah is, Devarim, meaning “Words”, highlights the incredible power of speech. Words can inspire, comfort, teach, and strengthen. But words can also wound, divide, and destroy.

Our Sages teach that while the First Beit HaMikdash was destroyed because of the grave sins of idolatry, immorality, and bloodshed, the Second Temple was destroyed because of “Sinat Chinam – שנאת חינם”—baseless hatred.

Such hatred often begins with careless speech: gossip, insults, humiliation, harsh criticism, and judging others unfairly.

Moshe Rabenu’s example shows us the opposite path. Even when he must rebuke, he protects the dignity of the people. If every of our conversation may reflect that same sensitivity, how different our homes, communities, and the entire Jewish world would be.

Each time we choose peace over argument, forgiveness over resentment, and understanding over criticism, we take another step toward redemption.

Tisha B’Av is therefore not only a day of mourning, it is a day of hope. We mourn what was lost because we believe it can be rebuilt. We cry over the past while committing ourselves to shape a better future.

Important Laws of Tisha B’Av

The fast begins on Wednesday, July 22, at 8:00 p.m., and ends on Thursday at 8:42 p.m.

The five restrictions observed on Tisha B’Av are:

No eating or drinking.

No washing or bathing for pleasure (washing only what is necessary for hygiene is permitted).

No applying creams, lotions, or perfumes for pleasure.

No wearing leather shoes or leather footwear.

No marital relations.

Additional customs include:

Sitting on a low stool or on the floor until midday.

Avoiding greetings such as “Good morning” or “Hello” in the usual cheerful manner.

The Seudah Mafseket – The Final Meal Before the Fast. The final meal before the fast is called the Seudah Mafseket. Its simplicity reflects the transition from an ordinary day into a day of national mourning. The Seudah Mafseket is eaten after the regular afternoon meal if one wishes to eat more than one meal before the fast.

The meal is intentionally simple and modest. It is customary to eat only one cooked food, traditionally a hard-boiled egg. The meal is often eaten while sitting on a low stool or on the floor.People generally avoid eating together as a formal group, emphasizing the personal nature of the mourning.

The meal must be completed before the fast starts at 8:00 p.m. Anyone who is ill, pregnant, nursing, elderly, or taking medication should seek guidance from a competent rabbinic authority and follow appropriate medical advice regarding fasting.

To conclude:

Moshe Rabbeinu’s final message was not merely to remember the past—it was to build the future.

If the Beit HaMikdash was destroyed because Jews became divided, it will be rebuilt through unity. If it was destroyed through hurtful speech, it will be rebuilt through words of Torah, encouragement, gratitude, and kindness.

May we learn from Moses to speak with wisdom, humility, and love. May our words heal rather than hurt, unite rather than divide, and inspire rather than discourage.

May this Tisha B’Av be the last one observed in mourning, and it will transform into days of joy and gladness with the coming of Mashiach and the rebuilding of the Beit HaMikdash.

Amen.

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Refael Cohen